Slang Teasers

I generally regard myself as one who uses slang carefully and does so with consideration. So you can imagine my surprise when I nearly caused an international incident at the office the other day. The boss was away at a meeting when one of his friends - let’s call him Paul - came by; Paul told the receptionist (Agnes) that he wanted to drop an item off at the boss’ desk. No one here knew this guy so we were all a little unsure about it. When the boss got back, he was informed, and replied that it is fine, Paul was a buddy. Everyone started joking around about how we didn’t know this guy, what if he had nefarious intentions? I chimed in and suggested he wanted to root around your desk to steal important trade secrets. Everyone laughed except for the boss and I didn’t know why. The next morning he called me into his office and wanted a serious talk. He said “I didn’t want to say anything in front of Agnes, but we really can’t have that sort of talk here, next thing I know we’ll be slapped with a harassment suit”. I was utterly baffled and I’m sure my face showed it. Now please note that this is an office full of construction management types who have spent a lot of time on-site, no shrinking violets in the foul mouth department, if you catch my meaning. So given this context, I really had no idea what he was saying. He repeated my comments as he heard them, “you said Paul was going to root around the desk with Agnes”. After a few more seconds I understood what he was saying. In the back of my mind I had a recollection that the word root (used as a verb) is some sort of derogatory term for sex in Australia, and in fact I remembered that the arrival of the Canadian Olympic team caused much mirth amongst Sydneysiders when the Canucks were outfitted head to toe in Roots athletic wear. Anyway, he thought I was being offensive, and I thought I was being mildly amusing in a safe and utterly appropriate context for an office. I guess he didn’t see my pantomime of shuffling papers as I said it, though I imagine if I had asked “but didn’t you see my actions?” he might have taken it the wrong way. In the end, the international incident was resolved by me confessing cultural ignorance, and we all had a big laugh about the misunderstanding. It sort of felt like an episode of Three’s Company, in which Mr. Furley eavesdrops and hears Jack say something to Janet. He then blusters for the rest of the episode until the final scene when they all chime in singsong voices “Mr Furley, Jack said Rogaine, not cocaine!!!” or something like that. Hilarity typically ensues as it did in Sydney that day, and we all headed off to the Regal Beagle to further discuss the incident. Of course that was the start of the day so there was no trip to the Australian version of the local watering hole and I had to sing the Three’s company theme for the rest of the work day in my head. So to all I say come and knock on my door, come and knock on my door.