I see London, I see France

Any newcomer to Australia can report that trying to pick up a new sport to watch can be very confusing. Watching on television with no one to explain the intricacies of the rules can be tricky at best. This in mind, I wanted to see some rugby in person, so I went to watch the footy this weekend. Here in New South Wales when you say footy you mean Australian Rugby League as opposed to Australian Rugby Union and Australian Rules Football. The rules are different for all of these games and in the case of ARL, the pitch is vastly different. Australian Rules Football is by far the wierdest of these sports from a North American standpoint. They say that watching on television doesn't do it justice because there's something like forty guys on the field all playing game of 500. You score by kicking the ball through some uprights, but in order to get close enough so that your punt will be close, they pass the ball by hitting it with a fist, then sometimes they run, sometimes they dribble it and sometimes they pass by kicking and catching. There seems to be no consistent rules as to when you're allowed to do what, so it is hard to appreciate the nuances. Of course any time a ball gets close, it becomes a big jump off for the ball, complete with a whole lot of mid-air violence. Just a few weeks back one of the biggest stars of the game was suspended because out of the blue he swung at an opponent with his fist and knocked him out. Apparently this is outside of the rules, but there wasn' t exactly a huge public outcry, so maybe maneuvres like that are merely out of style. But I digress, back to the footy. So this year marks the one hundredth anniversary of the Rugby League. To honour this they have been having celebrations all winter and had a big match on the weekend. It was Australia versus New Zealand, so presumably the best players in the sport from each nation. The Centenary Test Match as it was called was held at the Sydney Cricket Ground on Friday night. I saw a news report earlier in the week that was bemoaning the state of the game due to poor ticket sales. Apparently a similar game had taken in 80,000 fans in Victoria a few years back, but there were only 10,000 tickets sold at the writing of the article. I have watched a few games and can now recognize some of the players. The game is sort of an abbreviated version of the game that the world plays as rugby, and it sort of plays like a flowing game of American football, without the equipment or the forward passing or the stopping to set up new plays and the like. I assumed that I would be able to get in without advance notice, so I walked there to arrive just on time. I ended up having to wait in line for about twenty minutes when I got there, but I got my ticket and managed to get the whole game. I have to admit this was one of the most boring games I have ever seen live. There is no doubt that these are very athletic men and it is a tough sport, but the game was really boring. It didn't help that Australia was up 22-0 at the half, but it was even boring in the first half. The first play of the game was an exciting try, but the rest was pretty utilitarian footy. I was sitting with a guy who watches a lot of footy, and he admitted that the sport in general wasn't very exciting for spectators. He was a German who really enjoyed soccer, and sort of admitted that he watched Rugby League just cause it was there. I have seen games in the NFL and the CFL that are boring too I suppose, but it was really disappointing for this to be so lame. The crowd was only there in the second half because they paid so much for their ticket that they didn't want to leave early. Luckily there was a little excitement near the end of the game. With a minute left a guy went streaking through the arena. He ran from end to end, evading the security personnel until he slipped on the grass (should have worn the birthday suit cleats) and they piled on and beat him down. Immediately the big screen flashed a notification that anybody going onto the field of play would be fined $5500, but that didn't discourage the crowd who had waited for a long time for any excitement. The fans got really into it; they were cheering him on and when he raised his head to salute the crowd they gave him a standing ovation. The security staff were walking him towards the exit and one guy was trying to keep up and hold a towel around his crotch. Our hero figured this out and successfully thrusted his pelvis until he was free, free, free at last. He proceeded to gyrate as well as anyone could while surrounded by burly men and in handcuffs. The crowd let out a roar, but the security guys were embarrassed so they beat him some more. They then got a full body towel and duct tape to cover him up. One of the guards jobs seemed to be holding a hat on the guys head, presumably to reduce the likelihood of becoming a populist hero. Before leaving the field, our young champion bucked the hat off his head and saluted the crowd with a cocked eyebrow. The crowd ate it up and cheered until he was well out of sight. It was nice to see an engaged crowd in the end and the post game deconstruction was given some new material. Gave some fresh meaning to a naked bootleg.